This is for the one who thinks life has just passed them by.
This is for the one who thinks that waiting is just too long and want to do everything to get their way.
Before you do anything, read this.
A donkey called Oldie once groaned under the heavyweight his master, Kit, Farmer John’s farmhand had put on him. He watched a horse with a rider on it, prancing on the grounds nearby. The horse reared with his forelegs in the air and neighed proudly tossing its main. Oldie wished that he could prance like that; free from all weight and the stinging lash of Kit’s whip. The following day, Kit came for him as usual. But Oldie refused to move. Kit pulled him by his reins, pushed him, and did everything he could but Oldie just wouldn’t move.
Kit left him and after a few hours, Oldie decided to go and look for him. But he saw the horse and instead of going to Kit, decided to also prance like the horse. A little girl was standing by a fence watching the horse. Oldie wanting to catch her attention trotted closer to her, reared up his legs just like he saw the horse did. Unfortunately, his hoofs hit her chest. The poor girl’s head hit the fence and she fell unconscious. Her father who happened to be Farmer John decided that for endangering his daughter’s life, Oldie had to be put down. Kit was sad the day the donkey was going to be killed.
He said to it, “I came to you the other day because I had bought you from the owner of the farm and wanted to take you home to my daughter as her present. She will be going to school in a few weeks time so after riding you for a while, would have left you to roam freely in the fields near our horse. But after you refused farmer John decided that he was going to sell me another donkey. I’ll miss you, Oldie. You were always my favorite.”
As Oldie lay down ready to die he knew that wanting to be something he wasn’t, had caused his death.
There are a lot of people who behave like Oldie. At least I know that I’ve behaved like him for some time in my life. Thankfully I’ve reformed or tried very hard to. And what is this behavior I’m talking about?
You guessed it.
Wanting to be something we aren’t.
It goes on and on.
This behavior is something that instead of getting us to where we want to go rather sets us back or has dire consequences.
What we end up doing is rather sabotaging ourselves and also that of others. Let’s look at ways we do this.
THE LONG WAIT
Nothing beats wanting to be somebody or get somewhere than waiting. Not just waiting but having to patiently wait. Perhaps you have been promised something by somebody but that thing is taking too long. Or you are working towards a goal but it is going to take you quite a while to achieve it. Or you have years to do something, like finishing school, or getting married or even getting a job. Or you want the ultimate thing to most people, money.
So because we become impatient and want to get what we want quickly could have us looking for shortcuts. What are these shortcuts?
1. Not waiting on God
This is the first and topmost thing we refuse to do. We know our talents and even have dreams and aspirations but we feel that it’s taking too long so instead of continually praying and believing that things will turn out for the best we change our Prayer of Supplications into Prayer of Demands.
2. Wanting everything quickly
This is what happens to everybody. When we are in school, we wish the term or semester will be over quickly so we go home. Then we vacate and wish we were back in school. We finish school and want a job immediately. We get the job and want to get married. We do and want kids. But in all these after we get it we wish we had waited.
So many people stake lotto, steal, or even kill just to make some money and get material possessions.
But wanting money so quickly doesn’t guarantee to bring happiness when we want it.
3. Listening to Influences
A friend of yours will ask you why with such potential you are not doing something they think you should do. Young ladies have become teenage mothers because they listened to their peers. A lot of young guys have gone into sakawa because their friends told them that it would be easier to make money duping poor unsuspecting foreigners. There are so many ways people influence us to do something, sometimes it may not be telling us but we will see what others are doing and have and wish we could too.
4. The Deadly Comparisons
A typical child will see the mom kissing their sibling and would complain if their mom didn’t kiss them too. From childhood, we compare ourselves to others. That’s how we learn and appreciate what goes on around us. Some comparisons could be harmless but when it combines with envy or jealousy then we want what we want and fast.
Take Nana Ama who was jealous that her best friend, Gyamfua had bought a new and very expensive bag because she could afford it. But Nana Ama couldn’t so decided to steal one. She did and flaunted it in front of her friend but someone had seen her and soon she was arrested. Competition gone wrong and there she was in the prison cells.
A lot of ladies go in for sugar daddies in order to show off to friends and family. Those who do sakawa.
But there is also competition when it comes to love. Two guys would compete for a lady’s attention and ladies too would. There are a lot of people who are being cheated on so badly by their partners and would have wished to leave them but wouldn’t because they don’t want the other person to want.
6. Leaving Good counsel for Sensational Rationalization
How many of us ladies have dressed very hot and had a mother figure talk to us in church about the need to tone down a bit? We get mad and think to ourselves how the women have no right to tell us what to wear because God doesn’t look on the outside so it’s okay to entice anybody who would look at our hips and back bumpers?
Why do most women do that because they want to get a man and fast?
So many young guys also refuse to listen to good advice with regards to their business, marriage and even finances. They justify this refusal with the thought that they can do. Well a lot of people have ended up in jail because they thought they could do something and they did, the wrong way.
7. When Friends Become Enemies
So many people who want to make it in life do away with their friends, especially if said friends seem to want things to be far slower than they would have liked.
A boy staying in my area is not on talking terms with my next-door neighbor an elderly man because my neighbor told him not to pursue his dreams of becoming an actor and rather go to school. This boy called Ato, felt that his mother was always late paying his school fees and there was fed up with being lashed for it so much that he wanted to act in a movie and get money. He didn’t pay my neighbor any heed and decided to pursue his dream. He went to pay for an audition with part of his school fees and was promised a part in a movie. It’s been a year and no movie. If somebody hadn’t begged on his behalf I doubt his mother would have given him more money to pay his fees. He wasted his time and money and has lost his friendship with my neighbor.
8. Playing Games
This is not games like pool or the ever-popular sports betting that’s permeating every facet of the Ghanaian society but this is playing games with people’s feelings.
Some overly ambitious people play games with others in order to get ahead.
Kuntu Blankson was a teacher who was dating a marketing executive called Linda. Kuntu had secretly been intimidated by the fact that Linda made more money than he did. She had her own car and had even paid a down payment for an estate house while he could barely afford to pay for one bed. Linda told him of a company that was recruiting marketers and wanted to go and try.
But the day before she was to go for the interview, she fell sick. Kuntu when he went to visit her, switched off her phone so the alarm won’t wake her up and copied aspects of her CV. He went for the job interview the following day and got the job. Linda got to hear of it and confronted him over it, but he broke up with her and went his merry way. He was now being paid a tidy sum of money at the end of every month and didn’t care that he’d tricked his girlfriend to get it.
Consequences of Not Waiting
A. The Shame
I still remember a story that came out three years ago about three ladies who stole brassieres and panties at the Accra Mall. I still cringe when I remember that for their punishment, the security guards who caught them made them crawl through the shop.
B. The Loss
We lose our freedom when we are caught doing something illegal.
Not waiting and rushing into things could also mean losing family and friends.
Others have lost their lives because they didn’t want to wait.
Before you make a move ask yourself this question first.
If you don’t wait and rush to get what you want, what will be the consequences? Can you live with yourself if you do that? I remember when a relative told me he was going for juju. He would make a lot of money but could spend it in only one year and after that go mad. Thankfully he soon changed his mind. He knew the consequences and would have willingly gone through them just to get money but his heart was touched by God through much prayers.
But a lot of people know the consequences and still go ahead.
Armed robbers know they would either be caught by people and lynched, by the police and jailed or even killed in a crossfire. But does this change their mind? No.
Women who throw away their kids or even kill them know they can be caught but will still go ahead.
So many scenarios but you have to pause and ask yourself what are the consequences? They definitely would not be good and the best thing is not to go through them.
Also, think of the future. Wouldn’t you rather wait and go through the motions and reap the benefit later on? I would rather work hard to get somewhere now than to rush and suffer for a long time after that.
Let me end this with a piece of advice I was given years ago.
A woman told me that, when we grow old that is when we look back at our lives and measure our pasts. The wrong things we did could easily send us to our graves because of the weight of the regrets. But the good things we do will follow us and even affect our children, setting the best legacy a person could leave for their descendants.